Just the FAQs

Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city; yet no man remembered that same poor man.
~ Ecclesiastes 9:15

I know the lowercase ‘s’ is redundant and probably grammatically wrong, but the title flows much better with it. Without it, the title sounds as though this post might be something else entirely.

Curmudgeon /kərˈməjən/ /kərˈmədʒən/ A bad-tempered person, especially an old one.
‘Most self-described curmudgeons would probably go along with that, though with the addendum that their resentments and stubborn notions are, to some degree, justified by a brutish, venal world.’
(OED)

 

Frequently Asked Questions

 

Question:
What sort of a man does it take to be a preacher?

Answer:
Any sort of man will do really, just so long as preaching takes all of him.

 

Question:
How does a preacher prepare a sermon?

Answer:
Sort of like a chuck wagon cook prepares chili. He hunts up all the ingredients and cuts, chops, slices, and dices them. He combines them into a large pot and stirs over a fire for a long time. A very long time.

 

Question:
How does a preacher come up with something to preach?

Answer:
He doesn’t, because if he does, he has failed before he began. God has already given preachers everything they are to preach set down in proper order and organized into sixty-six books. His probably even has an index in the front. Preach that.

 

Question:
How does a preacher come up with illustrations for sermons?

Answer:
He doesn’t. Illustrations are everywhere. He simply has to pay attention.

 

Question:
How does a preacher relate to his hearers?

Answer:
By realizing that at least some of the people, and maybe many, in front of him do not care what he has to say. Don’t waste their time, get to the point, and give them reason to care.

 

Question:
Does a preacher need a degree?

Answer:
Hardly. He not only needs a degree, but he needs all three hundred and sixty.

 

Question:
Should preachers start with a joke and use alliteration?

Answer:
(Stares exegetically)